Not a bargain at any price

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Thanks for reading. Today I just feel like complaining about something: sex. Yeah I want to complain about it today but not in the way that you're thinking. I'm pretty sure that I'm getting enough, and I'm also fairly confident that I'm about as satisfied as anyone in regards to "DOING IT" and my wife is totally satisfied, or so she keeps telling me.

Anyway, think back with me if you will about your first days in those wonderfull times called puberty. Ah puberty, full of changes and confusion. Makes you nostalgic to remember, eh? Yeah, I thought so. And with body changes and your perception of the world you see morphing before your eyes, you now have to learn to deal with this very adult concept called sex.

But never fear, in this time of uncertainty two people are there for you that will help define truth and give you the knowledge and the support you need to face this hard life transition to become a mature adult with understanding; your parents! Alright, with the second and third paragraph both starting with intense sarcasm, I think I've reached my quota for this blog entry. But don't lose the sense of what I'm saying.

Basically the point gist goes like this. Here we are the most intense period of biological/hormonal/sexual/weird change perhaps in our entire lives (second only to menopause?) and those we need desperately to give us direction are about as scared to talk about it as we are to face the awkwardness of the transition itself. This is more of an autobiographical (yet applicable to you) case which we can all relate to.

Well, regardless of whether our parents will talk about sex with us to help us get a hold of truth in sexuality, there are countless others who will help us on our journey, mainly the sexual predators and pornographers. Now instead of inheriting a view of sexuality that may actually be close to what is intended for us, we get the "sexed up" (get it?) hollywood version that we have to BUY. Let me rephrase that: WE PAY FOR IT! But in this licensed edition of our sexuality we get more than we bargain for.

In regards to porn, there are lots of things we could go into here: The depiction of women sex drives as being overly sexual nymphos that will have sex with anything, misunderstanding of sexual stimulation of women, objectification of women (and men), self esteem and body image standards, types of sex acts, fetishes, etc. Blah, blah blah. There are a lot of things that the licensed version gives you that we were never really meant to have and can't handle. Thereby opening up a world of sexual (and emotional) hurt for all of us. But this is not exactly what I want to deal with here.

My beef is with the audacity that we have as humans. Before we are fully able to even understand our sexuality we are ready to market it. We even know what price to give it. Perhaps societal understanding on sex is just too slow in comparision to market forces but maybe there should be some catch-up going on. Sexual studies like the Kinsey report were just the beginning of an honest look at sexuality but haven't really been followed up to the extent necessary. That means all we have is Kinsey's questionable research telling us about how we really are, alongside the sexuality that we can buy. These two things combined with the sexual craziness of a select few and the conservatives that won't allow talk of the issue, only creates more controversy and nothing gets figured out.

Either way, we don't have a sexuality that's ours like we're supposed to have. Something that was created to give us intense pleasure in which we feel free to indulge with our partner for life is taken away and made a private asset of someone else. Then our love lives are sold or fed back to us in various perverted forms. We have one that's perscribed for us, one that we could never attain (nor shouldn't), and another one in which we get nothing at all, 'cause it's bad. All are wrong, none are right.

First step in dealing with this is that we should take our love lives off the shelves, take them apart and understand how they work. Really understand it. By doing this perhaps we can understand the true value of what we're dealing with here. I think that also we'll decide that it's too valuable to put back up for sale.